My first son was born in March, 2003, by c-section due to “fetal distress.” He was 11 days overdue when I checked into the hospital for my planned induction. My doctor, a traditional (and seemingly conventional) OB/GYN, discouraged me from waiting the full 14 days because he was on duty at the hospital that day. Throughout my pregnancy, I felt as though I wanted to deliver without drugs, particularly an epidural, because I feared the side effects. My doctor dismissed this wish as “silly.”
Late in my pregnancy I discovered The Bradley method of natural childbirth and read the book (it was too late for classes). This was the extent of my preparing for the labor, except for the one-day class we took at the hospital and some online information. I thought I was prepared, and in good hands.
When I checked into the hospital the night before the induction, they gave me a cervix ripener. I had no prior knowledge of what it was and expected it to have no physical effects, since they told me nothing about it. Two hours later I was in labor, though I had no idea. Finally, when I kept vomiting and screaming “what is wrong with me” a nurse had the decency to tell me I was in active labor. I tried to continue on but was already panicked and totally unprepared for the intensity of the labor and asked for an epidural. By this time it was three in the morning and I was able to sleep for a few hours until my doctor came to start the Pitocin. After this, things went downhill pretty quickly. After the Pitocin, the baby’s heart rate began to drop with each contraction. At about 11.30 am it was decided that I needed a c-section. Thankfully, Earl was born safely and healthy and I was very happy. At the follow up appointment with my doctor, I told him I wanted to try a vaginal birth next time and would that be OK? He said, “oh, no no, you don’t want to do that. You just schedule a c-section.” I never went back to him after that.
Fast forward to last year when my husband I decided to get pregnant. This time I did not hesitate to go to a midwife. I then signed us up for the 12 week Bradley class. Finally, I found a wonderful doula. We spent the entire pregnancy preparing for the labor.
My midwife practices through a major medical clinic, so there were some concerns I had. Particularly after I had to meet with a doctor to discuss the possibility of being overdue and thus having to have a schedule c-section. This doctor told me I would have to have continuous fetal monitoring and would be bed ridden throughout the labor, including having an IV. He seemed defensive over my fears of epidurals and my belief of their roles in high c-section rates. But he was not my doctor so I discussed it all with my midwife and she put my mind at ease.
One beautiful Friday morning I “felt funny.” I left work early because I could not concentrate. I was so hoping that I was actually going to finally experience real labor. I tried to not worry about how it would end and just stay in the moment and trust my body. It was hard though! My husband and I tried to help things along that night—remembering my Bradley instructor’s advice that “what gets the baby in can get the baby out too!” Saturday was a relaxing day, though I did not feel any labor. I did still feel as though something was different. I was VERY hungry this whole time.
Finally, just as I went to bed Saturday night I felt my first true labor pain. I lay in bed for a while and then they got stronger so I went into the tub. I stayed in the tub for a couple of hours. They hurt but were completely manageable. I talked on the phone with my mother the whole time and wrote down their length. They were about 45 seconds long and about 6 minutes apart. I figured he would be born Sunday sometime—it was all going so perfect! At about 4 am, I got into bed. They were starting to hurt more. I made a BIG mistake by not sleeping when I could, but my adrenaline was high. I told my husband to call my doula at 5am. I slept a little. I woke up at about 6am when they arrived to great horror—my labor had stopped! I panicked, thinking this was all false and I would have to go back to work on Monday. My doula assured me that this is normal. I again made another mistake and did not go back to sleep. I walked. I talked. I ate. My labor stalled for many hours. I really was discouraged. I sent the doula away and napped briefly.
FINALLY! Mid afternoon, I felt a kapow labor pain. It started again. This time it hurt. My breathing and relaxation techniques were very important, and effective. I labored on my front porch with my sister, son and husband. It was glorious. I was amazed at how much everything worked that I had learned in terms of breathing and walking, etc. The contractions were longer apart than before and shorter in length, but much more painful. They really felt as though they were doing something. I could not lie down. Effective techniques were rocking with my husband and breathing with noise. When I lost control and gasped or screamed, it hurt more. I found that I could get control mid contraction, which was good.
I called the doula back that evening about 8PM when I was getting tired and nervous. I was a bit frustrated because I never made it to the 4-1-1. It was really about 7 minutes to 4 minutes apart and 30 seconds to a minute. Never consistent. But yet they felt powerful. I knew that I was going to up all night again. I though maybe he would be born early the next morning, at this rate. At 10.30 I could not take the anticipation of getting to the hospital anymore and insisted we go.
Once at the hospital, they agreed that I was far enough along to stay and were very supportive of my decision for an unmedicated labor. I think I was dilated around 4. I was not surprised, but of course had hoped they would have said I am at a 10 and ready to push!! The midwife and nurse on call were so impressed with the three of us that they left us alone for the majority of the labor, only stepping in and helping when I started to lose my focus. They were so much more helpful than I anticipated.
I was unable to use the tub there because I was on continuous fetal monitoring. I did not feel up to battle this, so didn’t press the issue. I was not on an IV though, until near the end when I was vomiting a lot and they thought it would help. No one ever asked me if I wanted an epidural, and I never did. At transition, I lost hope and my focus and did have Nubaine. This was after I started begging for a c-section. My doula, husband, and the midwife ignored the request, thank goodness. But because of the hospital setting, the Nubaine request was too tempting for me. It did not alleviate any pain, but I was able to lie down for a few minutes and regroup. After two nights of no sleep, and not being able to labor at all lying or sitting, I was pretty delirious.
Sometime around 9AM, the midwife told me I was ready to push. This was the most exciting news—I couldn’t believe I was actually going to have this privilege! I immediately got on my hands and knees and pushed hard. There was initially some fetal distress and a doctor was called in. The room went silent when he walked in. The midwife had me change positions (to my side) and it worked like a charm. The doctor left. The pushing hurt a lot. I did not feel really “good” pushing, like some women I have heard do. I screamed a lot and had to have a lot of help staying focused. But it was effective. I think I pushed for about a half an hour before he was born. I don’t know exactly what was happening at the end there, but I had an episiotomy. I did not argue this because I would have done anything to get him out of me. I did not want to touch his head as he crowned. I really just wanted him out. I was out of my mind! I felt his head come out and that felt good, because I knew we were moments away from him being born. Then came the big push and the big whoosh and at 9.41 am, after 36 hours, he was out and placed right on my chest. I cried. I tried to nurse him but it didn’t exactly work yet. They let me have him for about a half an hour before weighing him and all that stuff that they do. I was ready to close my eyes for a bit though. My husband took him for a while so I could rest.
Some things that surprised me about myself was that when he was born I immediately said “next time I will schedule a c-section.” But about 30 minutes later I said I was kidding. But I was so tired that it trumped what I thought would be joys of birthing—like feeling and seeing the crowing, and the feelings of pushing. I was also surprised that I caved and got the Nubaine. But I was proud of myself for never wanting that epidural. I never felt tempted by that because I could tell that my walking was really helping the labor, and given how long it was I am sure I needed that. William is a super baby—he nurses like a champ. We went home the next day—I really felt so good compared to post c-section!
The differences in this pregnancy, labor and delivery compared to the first are like night and day. I feel as though what really made the difference was spending so much time preparing and learning, because once in labor it is really hard to make decisions. The other really important factor was being surrounded by people who shared and supported my vision, so that I didn’t have to fight any battles when I could only concentrate on contractions. To have so many women (and one really great man) help me do this made it the most wonderful experience in my entire life. If I had been unable to deliver vaginally and ended with c-section after all this, it would not have been such a disappointment because I would have known that it truly was necessary and not because of external factors like schedules, drugs, lack of movement, etc…
I would suggest to every woman to have a midwife and a doula and read as much as you can before, and to believe in your body. Next time I think I will do it home with a tub!
Late in my pregnancy I discovered The Bradley method of natural childbirth and read the book (it was too late for classes). This was the extent of my preparing for the labor, except for the one-day class we took at the hospital and some online information. I thought I was prepared, and in good hands.
When I checked into the hospital the night before the induction, they gave me a cervix ripener. I had no prior knowledge of what it was and expected it to have no physical effects, since they told me nothing about it. Two hours later I was in labor, though I had no idea. Finally, when I kept vomiting and screaming “what is wrong with me” a nurse had the decency to tell me I was in active labor. I tried to continue on but was already panicked and totally unprepared for the intensity of the labor and asked for an epidural. By this time it was three in the morning and I was able to sleep for a few hours until my doctor came to start the Pitocin. After this, things went downhill pretty quickly. After the Pitocin, the baby’s heart rate began to drop with each contraction. At about 11.30 am it was decided that I needed a c-section. Thankfully, Earl was born safely and healthy and I was very happy. At the follow up appointment with my doctor, I told him I wanted to try a vaginal birth next time and would that be OK? He said, “oh, no no, you don’t want to do that. You just schedule a c-section.” I never went back to him after that.
Fast forward to last year when my husband I decided to get pregnant. This time I did not hesitate to go to a midwife. I then signed us up for the 12 week Bradley class. Finally, I found a wonderful doula. We spent the entire pregnancy preparing for the labor.
My midwife practices through a major medical clinic, so there were some concerns I had. Particularly after I had to meet with a doctor to discuss the possibility of being overdue and thus having to have a schedule c-section. This doctor told me I would have to have continuous fetal monitoring and would be bed ridden throughout the labor, including having an IV. He seemed defensive over my fears of epidurals and my belief of their roles in high c-section rates. But he was not my doctor so I discussed it all with my midwife and she put my mind at ease.
One beautiful Friday morning I “felt funny.” I left work early because I could not concentrate. I was so hoping that I was actually going to finally experience real labor. I tried to not worry about how it would end and just stay in the moment and trust my body. It was hard though! My husband and I tried to help things along that night—remembering my Bradley instructor’s advice that “what gets the baby in can get the baby out too!” Saturday was a relaxing day, though I did not feel any labor. I did still feel as though something was different. I was VERY hungry this whole time.
Finally, just as I went to bed Saturday night I felt my first true labor pain. I lay in bed for a while and then they got stronger so I went into the tub. I stayed in the tub for a couple of hours. They hurt but were completely manageable. I talked on the phone with my mother the whole time and wrote down their length. They were about 45 seconds long and about 6 minutes apart. I figured he would be born Sunday sometime—it was all going so perfect! At about 4 am, I got into bed. They were starting to hurt more. I made a BIG mistake by not sleeping when I could, but my adrenaline was high. I told my husband to call my doula at 5am. I slept a little. I woke up at about 6am when they arrived to great horror—my labor had stopped! I panicked, thinking this was all false and I would have to go back to work on Monday. My doula assured me that this is normal. I again made another mistake and did not go back to sleep. I walked. I talked. I ate. My labor stalled for many hours. I really was discouraged. I sent the doula away and napped briefly.
FINALLY! Mid afternoon, I felt a kapow labor pain. It started again. This time it hurt. My breathing and relaxation techniques were very important, and effective. I labored on my front porch with my sister, son and husband. It was glorious. I was amazed at how much everything worked that I had learned in terms of breathing and walking, etc. The contractions were longer apart than before and shorter in length, but much more painful. They really felt as though they were doing something. I could not lie down. Effective techniques were rocking with my husband and breathing with noise. When I lost control and gasped or screamed, it hurt more. I found that I could get control mid contraction, which was good.
I called the doula back that evening about 8PM when I was getting tired and nervous. I was a bit frustrated because I never made it to the 4-1-1. It was really about 7 minutes to 4 minutes apart and 30 seconds to a minute. Never consistent. But yet they felt powerful. I knew that I was going to up all night again. I though maybe he would be born early the next morning, at this rate. At 10.30 I could not take the anticipation of getting to the hospital anymore and insisted we go.
Once at the hospital, they agreed that I was far enough along to stay and were very supportive of my decision for an unmedicated labor. I think I was dilated around 4. I was not surprised, but of course had hoped they would have said I am at a 10 and ready to push!! The midwife and nurse on call were so impressed with the three of us that they left us alone for the majority of the labor, only stepping in and helping when I started to lose my focus. They were so much more helpful than I anticipated.
I was unable to use the tub there because I was on continuous fetal monitoring. I did not feel up to battle this, so didn’t press the issue. I was not on an IV though, until near the end when I was vomiting a lot and they thought it would help. No one ever asked me if I wanted an epidural, and I never did. At transition, I lost hope and my focus and did have Nubaine. This was after I started begging for a c-section. My doula, husband, and the midwife ignored the request, thank goodness. But because of the hospital setting, the Nubaine request was too tempting for me. It did not alleviate any pain, but I was able to lie down for a few minutes and regroup. After two nights of no sleep, and not being able to labor at all lying or sitting, I was pretty delirious.
Sometime around 9AM, the midwife told me I was ready to push. This was the most exciting news—I couldn’t believe I was actually going to have this privilege! I immediately got on my hands and knees and pushed hard. There was initially some fetal distress and a doctor was called in. The room went silent when he walked in. The midwife had me change positions (to my side) and it worked like a charm. The doctor left. The pushing hurt a lot. I did not feel really “good” pushing, like some women I have heard do. I screamed a lot and had to have a lot of help staying focused. But it was effective. I think I pushed for about a half an hour before he was born. I don’t know exactly what was happening at the end there, but I had an episiotomy. I did not argue this because I would have done anything to get him out of me. I did not want to touch his head as he crowned. I really just wanted him out. I was out of my mind! I felt his head come out and that felt good, because I knew we were moments away from him being born. Then came the big push and the big whoosh and at 9.41 am, after 36 hours, he was out and placed right on my chest. I cried. I tried to nurse him but it didn’t exactly work yet. They let me have him for about a half an hour before weighing him and all that stuff that they do. I was ready to close my eyes for a bit though. My husband took him for a while so I could rest.
Some things that surprised me about myself was that when he was born I immediately said “next time I will schedule a c-section.” But about 30 minutes later I said I was kidding. But I was so tired that it trumped what I thought would be joys of birthing—like feeling and seeing the crowing, and the feelings of pushing. I was also surprised that I caved and got the Nubaine. But I was proud of myself for never wanting that epidural. I never felt tempted by that because I could tell that my walking was really helping the labor, and given how long it was I am sure I needed that. William is a super baby—he nurses like a champ. We went home the next day—I really felt so good compared to post c-section!
The differences in this pregnancy, labor and delivery compared to the first are like night and day. I feel as though what really made the difference was spending so much time preparing and learning, because once in labor it is really hard to make decisions. The other really important factor was being surrounded by people who shared and supported my vision, so that I didn’t have to fight any battles when I could only concentrate on contractions. To have so many women (and one really great man) help me do this made it the most wonderful experience in my entire life. If I had been unable to deliver vaginally and ended with c-section after all this, it would not have been such a disappointment because I would have known that it truly was necessary and not because of external factors like schedules, drugs, lack of movement, etc…
I would suggest to every woman to have a midwife and a doula and read as much as you can before, and to believe in your body. Next time I think I will do it home with a tub!
